Ryan Davis wrote in post #1022824:
> On Sep 19, 2011, at 16:14 , Tim A. wrote:
>
>>  from (irb):4
>>  from :0
>>
>> with commandline:
>>
>> telnet localhost 4444
>> Trying ::1...
>> Connected to localhost.
>> Escape character is '^]'.
>> VLC media player 1.1.9 The Luggage
>> Remote control interface initialized. Type `help' for help.
>
> I'm just guessing... but that "Trying ::1" line hints that
> /usr/bin/telnet is trying both ipv4 and ipv6 and I'd bet dollars to
> donuts that net/telnet is only trying ipv4. You can probably confirm
> with 'netstat -an | grep 4444.*LISTEN'

it seems you are right

netstat -an | grep 4444.*LISTEN
tcp6       0      0 ::1:4444                :::* 
LISTEN

so I checked my hosts file and sure enough it had ::1 as localhost so I 
made it as 127.0.0.1 and poof that solved it all

thanks it didn't even occur to me that the ::1 was ipv6

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