These are a product of too much insomnia, too much caffeine,
and too much coding...


There once was a language called Ruby
That did wondrous things for the newbie;
The programs they made
Would help them get laid
Even though they were nerdy and gooby.

A Ruby programmer named Earl
Tried to program the brain of a squirrel;
Though he made quite a mess
Yet we had to confess
It was *still* so much cleaner than Perl!

I don't mean to sound like a spammer,
But Ruby has such a neat grammar --
When a task I assail
Starts to look like a nail
Then my code starts to look like a hammer!

Matusumoto and Wall and van Rossum
One day were dissecting a 'possum;
But they found that his wetware
Was all based on Netware
And so they decided to toss 'im.

When Guido and Larry and Matz
Tried to network the brains of two rats
There was only one catch --
An impedance mismatch --
And they fed the results to the cats.


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The Author Does Not Necessarily Condone Sexual Promiscuity,
Animal Experimentation, or Cross-Paradigm Collaboration.

No animals or programmers were harmed in the making of
these poems.