I don't want to be indelicate and we can address this some other
time.  Maybe a good place for an easter egg would be as a virtual
global variable.  Global vars are a rather open namespace and if we
kept the code in C none of the strings here would be allocated until
needed.  I think ts would appreciate that efficiency, perhaps?

Anyway, what do you think about an $ABOUT with a singleton?

  $ABOUT = %{"Maybe because Ruby is a mansion, a backdoor is bigger than you expect."\n  - matz}
  def $ABOUT.ts
    %{"I know nothing, I just ask ruby what it do."\n  - Guy Decoux (1955 - 2008)}
  end

From [ruby-talk:20662] and [ruby-talk:5795], respectively.

In ruby.c, this becomes:

  static VALUE
  rb_about_ts(VALUE self)
  {
    return rb_str_new2("\"I know nothing, I just ask ruby what it do.\"\n  - Guy Decoux (1955 - 2008)");
  }
  
  static VALUE
  rb_about()
  {
    VALUE about = rb_str_new2("\"Maybe because Ruby is a mansion, a backdoor is bigger than you expect.\"\n  - matz");
    rb_define_singleton_method(about, "ts", rb_about_ts, 0);
    return about;
  }

Then, in ruby_prog_init:

  rb_define_virtual_variable("$ABOUT", rb_about, 0);

_why